commands/fortune/fortune.dat

   1 A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
   2   - B. L. Taylor
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   4 Oh gracious, why wasn't I born old and ugly?
   5   - Dickens
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   7 Weather is a literary specialty, and no untrained hand
   8 can turn out a good article on it.
   9   - M. Twain
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  11 A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
  12   - S. Goldwyn
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  14 "Classic." A book which people praise and don't read.
  15   - M. Twain
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  17 Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
  18   - Benjamin Franklin
  19 %%
  20 Everything is funny as long as it is happening
  21 to someone else.
  22   - Will Rogers
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  24 I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
  25   - Groucho Marx
  26 %%
  27 One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie
  28 is that a cat has only nine lives.
  29   - M. Twain
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  31 Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?
  32 It is because we are not the person involved.
  33   - M. Twain
  34 %%
  35 When angry, count four;
  36 when very angry, swear.
  37   - M. Twain
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  39 A perfect vacuum exists only in the minds of men.
  40   - P. H. Beck
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  42 Those whose courses are different cannot lay plans for one another.
  43   - Confucian Analects Bk. 15:39
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  45 Learning without thought is labor lost;
  46 thought without learning is perilous.
  47   - Confucian Analects Bk. 2:15
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  49 The falsely dramatic drives out the truly dull.
  50   - Gennerat's Law
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  52 Our universe is simply one of those things that happen from time to time.
  53   - Edward Tryon
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  55 When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains,
  56 however improbable, must be the truth.
  57   - Sherlock Holmes
  58 %%
  59 admiration, n.
  60 Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
  61   - Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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  63 bore, n.
  64 A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
  65   - Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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  67 coward, n.
  68 One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
  69   - Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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  71 What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
  72 %%
  73 Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
  74   - Simeon Strunsky
  75 %%
  76 To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short.
  77   - Confucian Analects, Bk. 11:15,iii
  78 %%
  79 He who speaks without modesty will find
  80 it difficult to make his words good.
  81   - Confucian Analects, Bk. 14:21
  82 %%
  83 Heaven and earth are not humane.
  84 They regard all things as straw dogs.
  85   - Lao Tzu
  86 %%
  87 He who knows others is wise.
  88 He who knows himself is enlightened.
  89   - Lao Tzu
  90 %%
  91 He who knows does not speak.
  92 He who speaks does not know.
  93   - Lao Tzu
  94 %%
  95 To know that you do not know is the best.
  96 To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease.
  97   - Lao Tzu
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  99 Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.
 100   - Theophrastus
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 102 You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.
 103   - Publilius Syrus
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 105 If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.
 106   - Sir Isaac Newton
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 108 The probability of someone watching you is
 109 proportional to the stupidity of your action.
 110   - A. Kindsvater
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 112 The various forms of worship, which prevailed in the Roman world,
 113 were all considered by the people as equally true; by the philosopher,
 114 as equally false; and by the magistrate, as equally useful.
 115   - Edward Gibbon, "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire"
 116 %%
 117 Of course you realize this means war!
 118   - Bugs Bunny
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 120 The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds;
 121 and the pessimist fears this is true.
 122   - James Branch Cabell
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 124 Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
 125   - From the "Notebooks of Lazarus Long" by Robert Heinlein
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 127 Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
 128   - W. Somerset Maugham
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 130 Life is a continuing series of multiple-choice questions, with the answers
 131 torn out of the back of the book.
 132   - Sydney J. Harris
 133 %%
 134 There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what
 135 the Universe is for and why it is  here. it  will instantly disappear and
 136 be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
 137
 138 There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
 139   - Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the end of the Universe"
 140 %%
 141 The following sentence is false.
 142 The preceding sentence is true.
 143 %%
 144 A well-frog cannot imagine the ocean, nor can a
 145 summer insect conceive of ice. How can a scholar
 146 understand the Tao? He is restricted by his own
 147 learning.
 148   - Chung-tse
 149 %%
 150 panic: can't spare any memory for you today.
 151 %%
 152 !XINIM ni deppart m'I !pleH
 153 %%
 154 panic: page segment violation
 155 %%
 156 panic: not enough memory (hey, I've got some very cheap 41256's for you)
 157 %%
 158 Heaven wheels above you
 159 Displaying to you eternal glories
 160 And still your eyes are on the ground.
 161   - Dante
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 163 When the mind is disturbed, the multiplicity of things is
 164 produced, but when the mind is quieted, the multiplicity
 165 of things disappears.
 166   - Ashvaghosha, "The Awakening of Faith.
 167 %%